LIFE IS KICKING MY BUTT

17:55

Honestly and genuinely, I really feel like I've been neglecting my blog recently. I always stop myself from writing because I'm embarrassed that I've not posted ANYTHING which seems like the epitome of an oxymoron; I guess it's time to jump back on the metaphorical horse and get typing. I put so much pressure on myself when it comes to putting helvetica to web because I feel like my blog is such a place of permanence; if I don't write something well orchestrated or creative then I just shouldn't bother.
In actual fact, I want to treat my blog more like a diary, a place for me to be open, honest and raw. I need to remind myself that it is FOR ME and although I love every one of you that reads my ramblings, it's time to put my feelings and ideas first.

So where have I been? In between general life, projects, working my butt off, hospital appointments, tests, being a parent and a wife, I have been trying to keep the house (and my emotions) afloat. I try to remain a positive person but sometimes, there has to be margin for error. I can't keep my 'face' on all the time, and despite finding the company of others so uplifting, I'm still figuring out how to be on my own and liking it. I don't know what my issue is but I do not enjoy my own company.. I'd love to be one of those women that needs 'me' time, time to relax, read a book but I often worry that encroaching thoughts will scupper my 'attempted' bliss. It's silly right? But it's my reality.

You'll have to excuse me if I'm quiet, not as interested as I should be, if I don't comment on your videos/blog or I don't reply to messages/emails/phone calls. I do care, I'm just a tad distracted.

All in all, life has been kicking my butt. But I know it isn't forever,

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