Since having Theo, I have experienced so many stages of loneliness that all led to days where I wish I could have lay in bed, put on trash TV and wish the hours away. Anyone that knows me well will see how different that is to who I truly am; I love socialising, exploring, travelling, being with others. But what has taken me such a long time to get over is being in my own company... and enjoying it!

I've often been so desperate in my attempts to avoid being alone that my whole body ached in pain, it invoked such sadness in my soul and made days at home such a struggle as opposed to cherished time with my son.

How depressing, you might say, but actually this story has a happy ending! Since becoming a vlogger my world has been flipped on it's head and thank bloody God. I have learned so much about myself, what works to keep those feelings at bay and spent so much time outdoors you could call me Bear Grylls (although there's no intentional urine drinking here). I'm proud of what I have overcome and so grateful that I can now spend days at a time on my own without feeling down. Having the camera in my hand and a focus of capturing my son's childhood has given me even more purpose than 'mum' alone.

I have had an influx of such amazing people in my life, those that have been there for a long time and brand new victims to which my claws are firmly embed. Those days where I get to spend hours chatting about real and honest emotions, without feeling judged or feeling isolated. It is empowering and I owe it partly to the wonderful world of the web. No catfish douchelords over here!

So here is an example of day, a day where Theo and I were alone together, enjoying each others company and laughing so hard I peed my pants. I told you Tena, you could invite a genuine user to your events! I know I will look back on these days with such fond memories with no hidden sadness and faking it to get through the day. Just happiness and fresh air.

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