SQUARE PEG, ROUND HOLE

13:00




The world of vlogging and blogging has opened up so many opportunities for me over the years that I have been dabbling in it. I've met best friends, confidants, people that share the same morals and values that I do. It's energising and has kept the lonely and overbearing world of depression at bay. It's an unfair expectation of close family, husband and my best friend to fix every worldly problem anyway!

However what I have come to realise is that there is a very set mould for this cyber universe and that I am a very square peg in the most spherical of holes. I don't always want to share every inch of my life, the highs and the lows, fashion does not keep this boat afloat and with one child in the bank (second one is cooking of course) I don't have a wealth of experience in parenting, my passions don't lie in tips and tricks. With limited funds, I can't complete monthly house renovations, working 34 hours a week means minimal event attendance and despite being an absolute bargain hunter, holidays aren't always on the cards. Although in all sincerity, I would live on a plane if I had my way but one can only dream.

I can't portray this 'idealistic' home life that others envy or dream of, nor would I want to. So how does an 'every man' succeed when it's highly unlikely others are looking for pictures of a smashed sugar jar or a messy lounge floor? 

What I truly feel about the internet and social media is that it isn't always a true reflection of reality. You get lost in this endless loop of 'instacelebs' that live the high life, and although that is wonderful in small doses, it isn't always good for our mental health. We have to remember that there are people out there going to a 'normal' job, that have to budget for their food shop and their holidays and buying new cars. 

Life isn't always rainbows and sunshine and we have to remind ourself that that is okay. That is, in fact, real life. 

I use this tactic in just the same way when I think about depression. Every day isn't always going to be great. You're not always going to feel so joyous you could spontaneously combust. And you know what? That doesn't mean you're diving head first into the dark depths of sadness. Don't let those singular moments take over your mind! 

Anyway, I digress. 

What I'm trying to say is, I think, I can only be me. Share the memories I'm making with my child(ren) and give you a little positive nudge when you need it most. I feel extremely passionate about making sure other mums don't feel isolated and alone, I appreciate how much it can feel like that way when you have children even with a wealth of support around you. And I care about birth. I care about women having the birth that they want no matter what that looks like.

So where does that leave me? Right now, I'm not really sure. I know that I do love this little online world and sharing with others so I know I definitely want to be a part of it.

I know I want to share great, affordable products that are within reach and how to experience joy and happiness without feeling envy of those who may seem to have 'more'.

I guess I just need to find a square hole.

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